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So, Entertainment Weekly recently put out their list of the top 20 horror films of the past 20 years. As you might expect, the list is utter nonsense. From just reading it, I cannot for a second fathom what metric they used to establish this retarded dogshit list. Box office receipts? I doubt that. Horror nerd bias? Surely not. The Plot Hole is unabashedly an opinion site. We have no employees: just a couple of geeks being unfair and snarky to anything and anyone we don’t like. But this Owen Gleiberman dude, who wrote the list, is a paid employee who was assigned this task by his superiors. And while he may be a movie critic, he is no horror buff. We realize that every other horror website this side of the Cretaceous Period has rebutted and pissed on this list, so you can just add our opinion to the pile. We’ve never been proud or above flogging a dead horse. Read on, if you dare!
(Click here to buy any of the movies mentioned in this unnecessary rebuttal!)
#20. Dead-Alive: This movie definitely belongs on the list, though I might have put it higher than #20. It unfairly gets brushed off as a horror-comedy, as if comedy itself was easy, and the marriage of humor and hardcore gory zombie action was the simplest thing in the world. Braindead (may your heads be struck from your neck for not using the original title, EW) is not just one of the goriest movies ever made, it is also a showcase of then-budding director Peter Jackson’s filmmaking prowess. The same prowess that would later bring you Heavenly Creatures and King Kong. SO THERE.
#19. Darkman: Not a horror film. And Sam Raimi shows up later on the list with a much worthier entry, which makes this choice all the more bizarre. | #18. Event Horizon: I liked this film a lot, despite its myriad flaws. But in the top 20? Not quite. There are definitely some great scenes, and it is the second-best haunted house in space movie, but I can think of several films that could easily fill this slot with less acid-indigestion on my part. (May, I’m looking at you). |  Would much rather have seen this film on the list! |
#17. The Kingdom: A Danish television miniseries that is 90% ER, and 10% Ringu. Makes perfect sense. I know that Gleiberman wanted street cred for busting out with some Lars Von Trier, but I’ve seen the full and uncut The Kingdom, and while I enjoyed it, it hardly has a place here. | #16. The Descent: I’m sure I’ll take crap for not blowing a load on this film like everyone else does, but I just simply didn’t like it. Neil Marshall’s previous film, Dog Soldiers, was a hell of a lot more interesting and inventive than this, and could have filled this spot with nary a grumble around these here parts. |  A much more deserving Neil Marshall film! |
#15. Shaun of the Dead: This is my favorite movie of all time, so I am biased. Another horror-comedy, this one a loving homage with copious references to its source material. The best thing about it, and a good reason to have it on the list, is that it is unabashedly British. It is the Sunday-morning, bleary-eyed, hungover in the London suburbs zombie film. It is funny as hell while preserving the very real terror of facing reanimated corpse attackers.
| #14. Hostel 2: Angela brought me around on this one. She likes the female protaganist kicking male ass, and so do I. The only glitch is the hideous Bathory scene. But pound for pound, if any Eli Roth film should make the list, and I'm not saying they should, I would still have to go with Cabin Fever. | 
Hostel 2 was leaps and bound over Hostel, but I'd still rather see this Eli Roth film on the list! |
#13. Misery: Yes! This one stays, though I would bump it higher. Rob Reiner’s first (and only) foray into such dark material, and definitely one of Stephen King’s best books. This film is classic less is more: mostly interplay between two characters in one setting, the mood of the piece relies on the story and dialog and acting chops of the leads, as well as a competent director behind the camera. Luckily it has all these things, and succeeds on every level. | #12. From Hell: I suffered through this tedious movie once. When Johnny Depp and Heather Graham can’t make a movie worth watching for me, you know something is deeply wrong. How the gleefully violent and repugnant and fun From Dusk Till Dawn doesn’t make the list, but this plodding, navel-gazing assfest does, I will never know. |  Maybe this is what he really meant, but just got confused since they both start with From? |
#11. Planet Terror: This one can stay, though since it is so recent I would put it lower on the list. But make no mistake, I absolutely adore this movie. It is a total gross-out flick, just rampant carnage and camp and black as night humor. Someone in the office must have shouted out this one when Gleiberman was spit-balling ideas around the water cooler at the Eeew! offices. #10. Ringu: I have this movie, but haven’t watched it yet. Loved the American remake, though, and I hear lots of good things about it. (Angela’s opinion on this suggests the remake might be a better entry, if for nothing else than it ushered in a slew of Japanese ghost story remakes. Like it or not, it signifies it as an influential horror film, and makes a case for it being on a list such as this.) #9. Alien 3: Haven’t ever actually seen this one, either. But for this one to make the list, and so high, seems suspect to me. I could possibly see part 4 on this list, but still much lower. #8. Drag Me To Hell: Oh hell yeah. This was by far my favorite horror film of this year, and the reasons for which can be found in our group review on this very website. This is everything a horror film should be: campy, fun, gross, and occasionally genuinely frightening. Raimi’s masterful return to the genre is well-deserving of this place on the list. #7. The Sixth Sense: This one would not be on my personal list, but I can see it being included on this one. It certainly caused a box-office ruckus, and still stands as being M. Night Shyamalan’s most successful movie, at least in an artistic sense. So what if the twist is hackneyed? If someone didn’t ruin it for you (like someone did for me *grumble, grumble*) then it is actually quite an effective shock. | #6. What Lies Beneath: This is just retarded. This was a bullshit movie, and having it anywhere on the list, let alone so high up, is a fucking slap in the face to the great actual horror films that would be better suited for inclusion (Larry Fessenden’s Habit, I’m looking at you). | 
Less than 20-years ago, and infinitely better than the big budget piece of shit mentioned to the left! |
#5 . 28 Weeks Later: This makes no sense. I adored this movie, thought it was a proper sequel in every sense of the word, but it is hardly better than the original. 28 Days Later is a fantastic film, one that came totally out of left field and woke this horror fan up with its human drama and terrifying antagonists. That movie should be on the list, and #5 would be a fine spot for it indeed. #4 . Scream: The chuckleheaded horror fan would say nay to this one, but I would disagree. I think it belongs on this list, and it merits this high a position. Other than the genuinely frightening opening, the movie pretty much falls flat, but it struck a nerve with the mainstream movie-watching masses, and definitely helped to usher other horror films into theaters, movies that otherwise would not have gotten nearly as much attention. | #3. The Blair Witch Project: This movie is an object lesson in viral marketing. Super low-budget, sort of boring, biting a huge chunk off of other movies that came before it (Cannibal Holocaust, I’m looking in your ugly direction), this movie still managed to captivate a whole hell of a lot of people, and make an assload of money. And how? By fucking flooding the internet with hype and half-truths. And it worked. In spades. So just for sheer balls, it belongs on the list. |  This movie sucked a Christmas dick. Just saying! |
#2 . The Silence of the Lambs: The biggest complaint I’ve seen about this film being on the list is that it isn’t horror: it’s a police procedural. I’m not sure how much I agree with that. A guy kidnaps women, and starves them to steal their skin to make dresses from. And the only link to him is a vicious yet urbane psychopath who can kill you without even touching you. He can literally talk you to death. Having a man that smart being capable of such casual atrocity with nary a winking of conscience is pretty horrifying to me. This goes on the list, and I don’t begrudge it the #2 spot. #1 . Audition: This is by far my favorite Takashi Miike film, precisely for the fact that it is so unlike all of his other stuff. When you think Japanese horror, you think bizarre and gross. Audition bucks expectation by being a subdued character drama. It lulls you into a false sense of security, so when the horror is dropped on you like a bomb, it is that much more grotesque and effective. There are few people who do not walk away from this movie without at least a small mental scar. To see that bag flopping around…and then see what is in the bag? Oh god, I just freaked myself out again. And that piano wire? *shudder* The general thought on other websites is that this film was put at #1 in an attempt to garner horror street cred, and that is more than likely the case. I wouldn’t have come up with this as #1, but I find it hard to complain about such an amazing film topping the list. And don't forget, you can click on this link to buy any of the movies mentioned in this column - even the shitty ones!
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