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Page 1 of 2 Over the next few weeks, I am going to detail, month my month, what films are coming out to theaters this summer. Sort of give you my two cents, like you give a shit. But hey, I am a low-class, trailer-trash kind of guy, not some jerkoff film critic who is going to worry about art and other useless things of that nature. I am basically just Googling for a list of movies, then IMDbing them for info, like a mama gorilla picking nits off her baby. And with that disturbing image, feel free to peruse at your leisure, and comment here or shoot me an email with your own thoughts. I'm going to start with May, which I am aware is not actuallly a summer month, but it was hotter than a witch's tit in Waterbury today and it is still April, so I say it counts. Without further ado, here we go.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine: I was deeply upset when I found out Russel Crowe was not going to play Wolverine in the X-Men films, but I have to admit that Hugh Jackman did a fine job. I am probably one of the few people who thinks that the X-Men movies got better as they went along, but even I had a twinge of "Nononono" at the thought of a spinoff. But, to be fair, I saw the trailer, and it looks pretty good. Being a Lost junkie, I am excited to see both Kevin Durand and Dominic Monaghan in this, as well as Liv Schrieber taking over Sabertooth from that wrestler dude. |  |
| Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: Hmm, a romantic comedy version of A Christmas Carol, opening in May, starring Matthew McShirtless and Blandifer Garner. Doesn't smell like a winner to me. However, director Mark Waters did bring us the wonderfully wrong House of Yes, so maybe there is hope after all. Still, more likely a rental for me. |  |
| The Limits of Control: A new film from the man with the best hair in all of filmdom, Jim Jarmusch. Basically, that means unless you live in New York or Chicago or LA, you probably won't be seeing this in a theater. Which is too bad. If you ever need to be taken away from the typical Hollywood PG-13 bullshit, Jarmusch is the man that will do it for you. This one concerns an esoteric criminal hanging out in Spain. |  |
| Battle for Terra: A "new" animated film (actually been collecting dust on a shelf since 2007), this is visual effects artist Aristomenis Tsirbas's diectorial debut, based at least partially on his 2003 short Terra. It is about the last contingent of humankind, on a vessel fleeing from a dead Earth, that comes upon a planet likely to support them. Naturally, the captain decides conquest is the order of the day. Because, of course, humans = bad and aliens = benevolent. The voice cast contains a lot of decent names, even if the trailer looks less than thrilling. But hey, Delgo looked like shit and actually turned out to be a pretty progressive and dark story. |  |
| Star Trek - No need for IMDb on this one. Being the directorial debut of bad-ass producer JJ Abrams, I am eagerly awaiting this one. Fact is, the man knows how to tell a damn fine story. I am a little concerned with what I anticipate to be the complete loss of the camp and corn and cheeseballiness that made the original series so great (as well as TNG, don't kid yourselves, people), but Simon Pegg is playing Scotty, and that is enough to move me out to see it right off the bat. |  |
| Next Day Air - This appears to be a black-perspective film, about some dudes who find a bunch of coke and think they've got it made, but oddly enough run in to a few snags. Pluses: Donald Faison and Mos Def. Cons: Directorial debut of Benny Boom, heretofore only known for making rap videos. I'm a pasty white guy, so I will probably catch it on video. |  |
| The Brothers Bloom- Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo as a couple of con-men trying to swindle Rachel Weiscz out of her fortune. Sounds damned fine to me. They better watch out or she will sick her creepy hubby Darren Aronofsky on them. Yikes! Also, it was directed by Rian Johnson, who not only knocked around with Lucky Mckee and Chris Siverston back in the day, but directed Brick, a movie that fairly well polarized everyone who has seen it. Both add up to an intriguing pedigree over here in my corner of Geektown. |  |
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