ABC. They’d like us to think the acronym stands for “American Broadcasting Company” but, for the purpose of the article, we’re going to go with a far more appropriate explanation: “Almighty Bungling Cretins.”

I don’t expect network executives to be a think tank – I request only a smidgeon of good taste. A year ago, it seemed ABC was frothing with just that. Pushing Daisies is the sort of eye candy that nestles into the sweet tooth like a gum-centered, cherry flavored Blow Pop. In short… I was rather shocked such a wondrously quirky show made the network airwaves.

And then came the Writer’s Strike.

The only problem that I have with Halloween, which is totally not Halloween’s fault, is that any wank with a website thinks he or she is qualified to lay down horror film edicts. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but when you come to my house, you better come correct. Peter Hartlaub crashed my party, stumbling drunkenly around my place, spilling his drink on my guests and generally being bourgeois and boorish. What was his
offense? Glad you asked. He wrote a column recently for the San Francisco Chronicle giving a list of horror films that are not scary. Let’s put aside for the moment the fact that he has nothing better to do with the space given him by the paper than to spew negativity, when he just as easily could have informed his readers about movies he likes instead. One could argue that I only perpetuate that negativity by taking him to task, but fuck that: he started it.