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| Wankwad of the Month: ABC |
| Written by Angela Mac | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Sunday, 23 November 2008 07:30 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 ABC. They’d like us to think the acronym stands for “American Broadcasting Company” but, for the purpose of the article, we’re going to go with a far more appropriate explanation: “Almighty Bungling Cretins.” I don’t expect network executives to be a think tank – I request only a smidgeon of good taste. A year ago, it seemed ABC was frothing with just that. Pushing Daisies is the sort of eye candy that nestles into the sweet tooth like a gum-centered, cherry flavored Blow Pop. In short… I was rather shocked such a wondrously quirky show made the network airwaves. And then came the Writer’s Strike.
And then it stopped. For a long time. ABC had already ordered a full season; a remarkable show of faith for a new show whose lead characters not only haven’t been in the sack with one another – but, realistically, cannot. The antithesis of the network’s Old Faithful: Desperate Housewives. One imagined there was no cause for worry – ABC clearly knew what they were getting into, and were willing to lend leash and time enough to Daisies for it to achieve its inevitable cult status. … only to blindside fans with an unexpected cancellation – after only thirteen episodes! Over the span of two seasons, we have not been afforded even a single full season of the show. It begs the question: Where are those balls now, ABC? Cajones and spines, alike, just shrivel up, and disappear?
Chi McBride steps up the cast with his nonplussed portrayal of a straight-talking private eye who, through a mixture of blackmail and friendship, solicits Ned’s gift for crime solving. Turns out, whodunits are much more easily solved if one can stop by the coroner’s and simply ask the corpse, “who did it?” There’s a wit baked into Daisies that goes beyond one liners, and snarky barbs. One of my favorite scenes involved small sprite Kristen Chenoweth, as Ned’s lovelorn waitress, singing in the shop after hours. While the cleaner’s machine roared, her lungs burst with bars from Hopelessly Devoted to You – punctuated with make busy, nonchalant, table-wiping pauses whenever the machine clicked off for a few seconds. You don’t find those kinds of scenes on shows with pill-popping doctors. Pushing Daisies charmed me. ABC is an art hating wankwad for canceling it. It makes me shelve whatever small hopes I housed for The Middleman – if they can’t love Pushing Daisies, they, clearly, have no heart. I don’t want to know how their blood is circulated. It would give me nightmares. In closing, allow me to queue up another adored scene from Pushing Daisies: A man has hired Emerson (Chi McBride) to suss out the culprit behind his wife’s death. The widow, Ned’s girlfriend, Chuck (Anna Friel), and Emerson are seated in a booth at The Pie Hole: The Male Widow: If I was more comfortable with you people, I would cry. Chuck: Oh, you can cry, that's okay. Emerson: It is not okay for a grown-ass man to weep in public with a bunch of happy families enjoying pie. If you can't hold it, you take your ass to the men's room and cry in private on the toilet… like a man! ….. (pregnant pause)…. The Male Widow: I need to use the men's room.
*sniff* Me too.
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| Last Updated on Saturday, 29 November 2008 13:38 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
