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| You're a disaster if you go see Disaster Movie. |
| Written by Paul Gagne | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Friday, 05 September 2008 11:33 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Okay, look: I don't blame the studios for churning out these awful parodies. Nor do I blame the directors, writers, actors, or various crew members. Wanna know who I blame? Do you, really? YOU. That's right, you, you puke-faced little pimpstick. The people who go see these generic, mindless parodies are the lowest form of human fucking life. You take the geekery that is the bedrock foundation of my life and piss all over it. I hate you. The first Scary Movie was pretty decent, kept to being a straight parody of Scream (whose working title was Scary Movie, thus adding a higher level of geekiness to the affair). The second one got a little watered-down, and the third and fourth veered off into a general pardoy vibe, eschewing the original intent of spoofing horror films. Then the flood gates opened, and we have been inundated with Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, and Meet the Spartans. These are movies for people not smart enough to get a subtle cultural reference, and not well-versed enough to cinema to recognized an obscure film reference. So they get served what they prove they want by spending their disposal cash on this drivel: general unfunny jokes about mainstream movies. I mean, these people cannot even tell the difference between what needs an homage and what needs a spoofing. Here's the key: good movies get a pastiche, bad movies get sarcasm. A movie that treats Iron Man and The Hulk with the same lame joke pen is a movie that doesn't understand what it is supposed to be doing. But they figure that the viewers won't be sophisticated enough to know it, and they are correct. And nevermind the fact that they have copious superhro rips hot on the heels of an entire spoof film dedicated to superheroes, but what on earth are they including digs at Sex and the City and Juno for? Hot Fuzz didn't include a Dirty Dancing rip in their action film send-up, BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKING PERTAINED TO THE MOVIE. But thanks to your inability to tell a good viewing experience from a poor one, the studios are going to see that these movies make money, and keep making them. Forever. Have you seen Idiocracy? Between Reality TV and Disaster Movie, we are on an express train to that particular hell. ARGH! For the record, here are some good cinematic spoofs: 1. Student Bodies, just recently released on DVD. 2. Pandemonum. Good luck finding that one, but please, do try. 3. There's Nothing Out There. An early Rolfe Kanefsky film, which mirrors Scream's self-referential vibe, except 10-years earlier. Or you could just sit back and watch some Mystery Science Theater 300. But please, PLEASE: If you find yourself sitting in the theater for Disaster Movie, thrumming like a livewire in your seat in anticipation of the dick and fart jokes heading your way, do us all a favor and find the sharpest kernel of popcorn in the bucket and slice your goddamn throat. Thanks.
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| Last Updated on Saturday, 06 September 2008 11:35 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
