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You guys are probably all dying for a review of Transformers 3. “Holy shit,” you’re saying, “what could they possibly get into now? How far can they stretch their creative limits? What new subtext and overarching themes can they mine for a third outing of this subtle and cerebral franchise?” The answer to which is: they blow shit up. Blow it right the fuck up. And there are robots. Some are cars, some are trucks, some are jets, and some are even wicked awesome predatory birds and giant worm-things. Did I blow your mind? I’ll give you a moment to recoup.
Seriously though, how much of a plot synopsis do you need? The Autobots are still chilling out on Earth, helping the US military with their various rivals and enemies. Except now there are more, since Optimus Prime keeps putting the word out for more of his buddies to come join the party. And, lo and behold, the Decepticons are still in business. Starscream and Megatron are still making plans, and lock in a race with the Autobots to recover some mysterious cargo on an Autobot ship that launched from their home planet of Cybertron during the war, and crash landed on the moon during the 60’s.
The cargo on the ship happens to be Sentinel Prime, Optimus’s mentor, and some bizarro new technology Sentinel created to help win the war. They use the Matrix from part 2 to zap him back to life, and they begin trying to unravel the Decepticons’ plot, while Laserbeak and Shockwave start assassinating various humans with which they have conspired over the years.
And of course Sam and his new girlfriend get caught up in it all…blah blah blah.
Overall, I would say that this third entry is a solid film, and definitely a step above the first two films. Not that that is saying a whole lot. I think it benefits from having one screenwriter. Ehren Kruger, who did a rewrite of part 2, is allowed to handle the duties for 3 solo, and it shows. You will not suffer from subplot whiplash like in the first two films. While there is still a lot going on, it manages to at least seem a lot more linear. Instead of developing multiple (many needless) story lines at once, it pretty much follows from point A to point B, which allows you to disengage that much more of your brain with which to enjoy the action scenes.
There are also some excellent supporting actors. Turturro is back, of course, and we also have Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Patrick Dempsey, and even Mr. Chow from the Hangover films. Add in the estimable Leonard Nimoy as Sentinel Prime and Hugo Weaving as Megatron, and there is a lot of great character-acting happening behind LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whitely.
Ah, and now the down-sides. Even though the film’s humor is more character-based and less forced, it continually shoots itself in the foot with foul language. It gets a laugh, but it’s a cheap ploy. And while most of the characters are actually well-developed after three movies, and the story actually unfolds at an even pace without inordinate boom-pow-bangs, in the crunch Michael Bay will be Michael Bay, and the whole works gets bogged down with masturbatory FX actions sequences. It looks like Bay just wasn’t confident that he could make a movie without blowing an explosions-load all over it, and that’s too bad. He almost, for a wee, second, seemed to be maturing as a filmmaker.
Now for some tidbits:
The humans kept calling Shockwave Soundwave, even though Soundwave was dispatched in part 2. Quality control, Bay-Bay.
Peter Cullen has been the only Optimus Prime, ever, and has also been the voice of Eeyore for almost 25-years.
Who gives a shit if Megan Fox is in the movie or not, or how they incorporate a new female? I like Megan Fox. She’s a good actress. But really, is that the most pivotal thing about the film? Shut up about it, already.
The movie does a good job of incorporating historical events into its narrative, especially the scene with Nixon. Watch out, kids: you may learn something!
There is a super-sweet cameo. Watch for it. My daughter nearly peed when she realized that this person was the actual person he was portraying.
There may have been other things I was going to say, but who cares. Robots blow shit up. Go see it.
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